something to chew on

************ Wedding Sermon on Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ************

By: Rev. Adrian Dieleman

This sermon was preached on April 4, 1998

Wedding Message for Kent & Julie Houtsma
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
(Eccl 4:9-12) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: (10) If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

"Two are better than one." This principle lies behind every marriage, every friendship, and every relationship. "Two are better than one." I'm sure, Kent & Julie, that on this your wedding day you would not disagree with that statement. You have decided it is better to go through life as a couple than as two separate individuals. But, then, that is the way God created us — to fellowship together. Remember Adam in the Garden? God looked at Adam and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen 2:18). So He created Eve and brought her to the man. "Two are better than one."

Why are two better than one? Why did God create Eve for Adam? Listen to what Scripture says:
(Eccl 4:9) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work ...

(Gen 2:18) The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
This is two ways of saying the same thing.

What does it mean? God is talking about the comfort, support, help, and joy that companionship can bring. You see, one is a lonely number. But two, that is better, much better. "Two are better than one." Kent and Julie, in the marriage relationship, you are to be each other's best and closest companion and friend.

In three examples our passage illustrates the blessings of companionship. The examples are taken from the risks of traveling by foot in Palestine during the days of the author. This, I think, is very suitable as marriage is like a trip or journey. For, when a bride and groom are joined to each other in marriage they covenant to travel life's pathway together.

The first example is that of a traveler who falls into a pit or ditch:
(Eccl 4:10) If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
For a traveler on his own a fall might prove fatal, especially at night. If a leg is broken, if ribs are cracked, if a skull is split open, the single traveler may never receive needed medical attention. The traveler with a companion, however, has someone to pull him out of the ditch or pit, someone to splint his broken bones, someone to bring him to safety.

By getting married, Kent and Julie, you do not travel alone. You have each other. You have each other to look to for help when disease or accident occur. You have each other to lean on.

The second example is that of a traveler facing the cold Palestine night:
(Eccl 4:11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Don't forget, back then there were no Holiday Inns. The traveler usually had to sleep under the stars or in a cave. And the Palestine night, even during the summer, can be very cool. Most travelers found it necessary to sleep close together in order to stay warm and comfortable.

One of the joys of marriage, Kent and Julie, is being able to share a bed with your partner. There is nothing quite like snuggling up to the wife of your youth during a cold winter night or in the cool of the morning.

A third illustration is taken from the burglar or wayside bandit:
(Eccl 4:12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The single traveler may be overcome by a bandit; safety is found in numbers. The rope-makers of the Ancient World certainly knew that: a rope made of a single or double strand of cord could be broken so easily; a rope, however, made of three strands was not so easily broken.

In marriage, Kent and Julie, you can strengthen and sustain each other. You can look to each other for support and encouragement. You can uphold and defend each other.

Kent and Julie, the two of you are life-long companions of each other. From now on you travel the same road. None of us knows the kind of road the Lord has in mind for you. None of us knows the pitfalls, the curves, the valleys, the hills that you will face. But as your wind your way through life, you have the comfort and strength of each other as lifelong traveling companions.

Kent and Julie, remember please that "Two are better than one." The Lord has blessed each of you with the companionship of the other person. So many couples forget this. Over time they neglect and forget their marriage partner; over time they stop doing things together, they stop communicating with each other, they start to drift apart; they lose the joy of companionship they had during dating and the first year or so of marriage. So Kent and Julie, don't ever forget or neglect your friendship with each other. Remain each other's best friend; continue to share with each other; spend time talking to and with each other; do things together; don't ever let a hobby, a job, children, or even church and kingdom work take so much of your time and energy that you no longer have time for each other.

None of this denies, of course, the joy and importance of other relationships. For, don't forget, you are also members of a church. As a couple you also have the responsibility of giving and finding companionship among the people of God.

Lastly, and most importantly, Kent and Julie, you also stand in relationship to God. It is He, especially, Who is your life-long traveling companion. He has been so since even before the time you were first placed in your mother's arms. It is He, especially, Who helps when you stumble and fall, when you are cold and weary, when you are attacked and molested. And, only when you get close to Him can you get the support and strength that you need to make life's journey together. You see, Kent you are one strand of the rope that is marriage, Julie you are another strand, but the third strand is God. To keep your marriage strong, then, you need faith in Jesus. To keep your marriage strong, then, you need to give your heart to Him Who died for you. To keep your marriage strong, then, you need to make Jesus the Lord of your home and the Head of your marriage. Then, and only then, do you have a marriage cord of three strands that cannot be quickly broken. As the poem on your program puts it:
Marriage Takes Three

I once thought marriage took
Just Two to make a go,
But now I am convinced
It takes the Lord also.

And not one marriage fails
Where Christ is asked to enter
As lovers come together
With Jesus at the center.

But marriage seldom thrives,
And homes are incomplete,
till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.

In homes where Christ is first
It's obvious to see,
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.

Perry Tanksley 1984


Kent and Julie, as you travel down life's pathway together, remember this: "Two are better than one." But also remember: "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." When the three of you — Kent, Julie, and God — travel together, you stand on such solid ground that nothing can tear you apart.
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