Paying it forward is a must in my eyes.
Why?
If people don’t give then no one will receive, if no one receives then we’ll always be lacking….if everyone is lacking….then we will all go hungry ….and if we go hungry….then a seemingly detrimental future awaits us….and if our future is nothing more than detrimental….then there is no hope….without hope….we might as well not have faith….with no faith…its hard to love….as there is no trust without faith…..if there is no love….again our lives get even more detrimental….
Oh no its going bonkers here…
So all in all…
Paying-it-forward is a must.
In my gloves chapter which represents the importance of giving and receiving, I emphasise not only the importance of giving but also receiving.
As I was growing up, my parents taught me that it was a privilege to give.
It meant that I was blessed and that it was an honour to be a blessing to others. Giving became my lifeblood. I took great joy in being able to bless people with words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and even through huge hugs. However it came to a point that I felt overly stretched. I felt I reached a point that I could not give anymore. But it didn’t stop me from pulling myself together and making 100+ Valentines' Day gifts for friends, scrapbooks for boyfriends, meals for armies….but it did cause me to be exhausted - with people, myself and life. I ultimately felt empty and that my gifts weren’t appreciated anymore.
It was depressing…
I gave and gave continuously hoping to feed off the appreciation that I would get in return. Words of affirmation is my primary love language and I tried to feed off appreciation. But after a while I felt my motives of giving changed…. I was giving to feel loved…it wasn’t genieune…and I eventually wanted to ‘kick the bucket’ and just hermit my way through life.
The guys I dated didn’t appeal to my primary love language. The friends I had gave and loved me but yet I felt deserted and ‘uncool’. My parents showered me with opportunities and provided for my finances…but yet I felt empty.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I pleaded with God….until it I suddenly remembered what my father used to tell me.
My dad always mentioned that I couldn’t give what I didn’t have. That ‘lecturing’ seemed like rubbish then but it suddenly struck me that he was correct.
How could I continue to give if I didn’t have anything to give?
Wouldn’t that mean that I was just giving nothing or something fictitious and made up? Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel it was appreciated because the quality of my gifts were dissolving into nothing. Why? Guess because the source was depleted.
And the source was me…
I realised that there was a second part to the equation of giving…and it was RECEIVING.
It wasn’t that…
GIVING = GOOD
RECEIVING = BAD
It had to work hand in hand.
The two things needed to come together and had to run in sync.
Just like inhaling and exhaling. Life can only go on if we inhale and exhale. If we just inhale/exhale and not exhale/inhale we will ultimately collapse and die. Both mechanics had to work together.
The same logic goes for giving and receiving.
So going on this premise that you can’t give what you don’t have, you can’t continue to give if you ultimately run dry.
What happens then?
Well someone has to do the refilling, right?
But on top of that, someone needs to receive and accept the refill….this part is up to us.
People can give and give and invest and invest thoroughly in you but if you keep on resisting the gifts and blessings, you won’t be refilled….and once you are dry, it means that your supply is out.
You’ll be living a life that is empty even though your intentions of giving are pure.
We need to recognise that receiving is a blessing too and that if we resist the gifts that people want to give to us, we will be robbing them of the joy of giving.
So receive in humility and be gracious. Thank everyone who invests and gives to you and continue to be refilled, so that you will be better equipped to give to others.
Pay it forward but also receive in order to move forward.
That’s all for now.
God bless
Ps: to the parents reading this, I’ll be interviewing daughters and parents on who their children should receive from, when they should receive and also why and what they should receive.
I’m still learning….so please provide your inputs.
You can read more on www.damnsian.com
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