Monday, February 9, 2009

Is formal Education really that important? - by Jacyln Chan

Well not really.

It really depends if the Education was first right for you. It boils down to the fit and the process of discovering what fits. We all know that life is a journey and that the journey is not static nor a destination. It evolves over time. It is the process of finding the right fit that is most important. This is simple to say alright but anything else will be far from the truth.

Formal education in my opinion is like the head gear we put on. Why? Well it differentiates you from afar especially since most Asians have black hair except for those with highlights or coloured hair. Hats help us to be noticed from a far and this is liken to the formal education that we fall back on. The degree and formal qualifications we brag about can be penned down and sent out in our resumes, it can be reflected on the titles on our business cards and these are mediums that we can use to boost our first impressions. However, our qualifications are only assets that help us get into a job thereafter it up to the person to prove his/her self worth through the mechanics of the job function.

Hats are also worn many the times for its practical functionalities. Firstly it protects us from the heat of the blazing sun and secondly it shelters our heads in times of rain. But we all know that in times of intense heat and down pours the hats we wear can only protect us to a certain extent. In times of great calamities without and without a hat, you’ll still get burnt and drenched.

The sun in my perception is representative of the heat from our ‘kiasu’ society. Moms, Dads, government and society alike judge and pressurize us to attain a ‘degree’ as a certificate of achievement. To prove of self worth? Maybe.

The rain symbolizes the unforeseen circumstances that take place. The fall of Lehman Brothers, the 900 staff retrenchment at DBS and the inevitable economic downturn that is approaching are all symbolic of the cloudy skies that loom around us. Yes, a degree will sort of shield or differentiate you from others without a hat but it can only help so much.

So in times of intense heat and torrential rains what we really need most is an umbrella, one that is without holes and one that is big enough to shelter our bodies. I’ll talk about the representation of an umbrella in my next entry.

Coming back to the point of the importance of formal education, is it really that important? Maybe, maybe not?

So the question comes back to why so many people pressure us to get a University Degree? Should we accept this as a given or challenge it and work on what matters most? Hats in my perception are just for show and potential bragging rights. It is a tangible evidence of a certain degree of capability but it doesn’t show the true worth of one’s mental capabilities, creativity, gumption and work ethics. Maybe it does help you get noticed from a far, just like how many people wear hats to add a certain extra flavour to their wardrobe and appeal but it can only shelter or boost your credibility to a certain extent. Once you land yourself in your desired job, the expected dress code or decorum is ‘all hats off’. Hats may get your foot into the door but thereafter it depends on YOU and your true capabilities. Your ability to network strategically, your capabilities to shine and perform and the tenacity to follow through on the tasks assigned. What is most important is the mental capability under the ‘for show’ head gear.

Next, we all know that the times are B.A.D, BAD. All we read about in the news is more BAD BAD BAD news. Guess the media really can’t get enough of it. It’s like a buffet of news that can’t help but be BAD. Horrible!

Especially in these times of uncertainties your competition is escalates. You not only compete with those who were engineered in the school of hard knocks, you are also compete with existing bums or people who have decided to ‘chill out’ and all the people who were just retrenched. These are people with hats too. And some as we all know are people with pretty distinct and credible hats. Look at all the Managing Directors who were recently given the ADIOS AMIGO send off. These are people not only with hats to shout about but also credible working experience.

So again. Is a degree really that important? Maybe? But to me it’s about the ability to prove and follow through on what you preach about.

That’s all for my first entry, I’ll explain what I feel parents can do to build what’s under the hat and the meaning of an umbrella in my next entry. So stay tuned.


Article Supplied by .

More can be read on www.damnsian.com







Resolutions? What's that? By Jacyln Chan

Resolutions? What’s that?

A disease?

Junk?

or

A thought not worth mentioning?

I’m just kidding. Resolutions hold their weight and are useful. Human beings are t he ones who screw up the goodness of resolutions.

We start the year off on a high thinking that we can do everything. We aim to have a Victoria Secrets model’s body so that we can ‘sex’ up our look or we aim to drive that flashy red Ferrari without a plan on how to get there. However many of these goals are not backed up with a plan on how to achieve them? A lot right?

Well...

Resolutions can only bear fruit if the seeds are first planted, watered and watched over carefully day by day. It is a process that requires constant effort, a positive attitude and a die hard spirit.

Same thing goes for the resolutions that are specific to your family. Resolutions to mend certain relationships especially those with your children, require choices.

The book I’m writing, “The Parent the Chick and the Wardrobe.” I emphasize that we are simply an aggregate of all the choices we have make in our life.

~ Choice to watch that extra hour of television

~ Choice of who to hang out with

~ Choice of whether to shower

~ Choice of what to wear

~ Choice what to listen to

~ Choice what to accept as gospel truth…

You get my point…The list goes on and on and on…

However if you don’t like how you are right now…there is still hope! You aren’t condemned and just need to make the right choices and decide to live differently. One significant choice can change your life if you let it.

So choose positively!

Start with making the right choices and start by focusing on the choices you make at home.

To the parents reading this:

Consider this:

~ How’s your communication like at home?

~ Do you love your child? Is it communicated to your child?

~ And most importantly, does your child feel loved?

If I could decide on one resolution for you, I would propose that you make it a point to ensure that you child feels loved. Love is the heartbeat to life and the sources of inspiration and the essence of life. Without a proper infill of love from home, the child will seek to find it outside and this search for love can sometime be at the

According to Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 love languages”, love is best communicated if spoken in the person’s primary love language.

Here are the 5 love languages that he proposes:

1. Quality Time

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

Find out what is the primary love language of your child and concentrate of this language in order to communicate your love.

Why?

Well, what speaks volumes to you may be meaningless to your child. Make it a point to understand the unique needs of your child. Apply the right principals, learn the right language, and soon you’ll know the profound satisfaction and joy of expressing your love.

Remember your child can only give what they have. Don’t expect them to give love back to you if you can’t even fill them with love.

So please give this some thought. Check out the book and stay tune to more insights from moi

God bless


Article Supplied by the some chick and author of the upcomign book 'The Parent, the Chick, the Wardrobe"

More can be read at www.damnsian.com







2 More things:)



Thought I'll share these interesting pictures that someone sent to my email. Watch out for more in the future.







Some Stuff to think about:



If this is a CEILING MURAL in a smokers' lodge, would YOU STILL WANT TO SMOKE?







IF THIS IS A PAINTED FLOOR OF A BATHROOM. WOULD YOU DARE TO WALK INTO IT?









For more interesting pictures: Check out what's up in last year's economy comics



http://damnsian.com/2008/12/2008-economy-comics/





The Ugly Judgmental World. By Jacyln Chan

Time and time again we have been victims the judgments of FIRST IMPRESSIONS. Whether the judgments are true or whether we are prepared, they happened all the time.

It is sad but true. The world we live in is filled with wolves. Big ugly bad wolves, small tiny ‘cute’ looking wolves and wolves that look like ‘sheep’. They are all over in different shapes and sizes, race and gender…They are everywhere

So BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolves

Are

Quick to

Judge,

Criticize and

Devour

Whenever

Possible.

It seems to me that we live in a world that is retracting back to the animal kingdom. Yes I know that was a very long time ago but isn't it true that human beings are acting more like beasts?

They prey on each other.

Again it is sad but true.

Everyday whatever you like it or not people are judging you.

They give you 3 seconds of their attention and these 3 seconds are not a 'hi' or 'bye' but a stare up and down to see if you are 'worthy' of their conversation or time. They label you as 'naughty or nice', 'cool or un-cool', 'worthy or unworthy'.

They judge that you are a hooker if you are wearing too short shorts or are exposing a little too much cleavage, or label you as a 'worm', if you are in overly baggy clothing or worst still they criticize even when you are perfectly well dressed. They impose their value system on you and pull you down in their minds.

For what?

Well a lot of times it is for their own self-gratification.

Many wolves out there get a kick from someone else’s discouragement. Their spirits get lifted when others are pushed down as everything to them is a competition and race. Why do think the phrase ‘rat race’ came from?

Something

To

Ponder

On

I

Suppose.

So given all this nonsense and misery what can be done? How can we change the world to a better place?

Well a lot has been done already.

Look at Mother Theresa or Ghundi. They committed their lives to change the world but it is still in chaos and void of love.

Check out Obama and his recent speeches. Everyone is advocating change. But people being people resist change. Why? Maybe it is because they don’t want to get out of their comfort zones…

So given all this, the thing to do is to prepare ourselves from this judgmental world.

How?

Whose responsibility shall it be?

Well in my perception….

It should be the parents.

Why?

Well who else can the younger generation learn from? It is either the parents or someone outside the walls of the home. But don't trust those who are outside the home. You could be leaving your child to the teachings of wolves themselves. (Wolves in sheep skins). They may seem nice and all but you can't control what they teach your children. The only thing you can control is how and what you teach your children. It is your responsibility as a parent to do so. So please step up and mentor your children.

Teach them how be clothed with success to fend off the judgments and continue on with their pursuit of success and accomplishment. Teach them to put on the armour of God and equip them with love, prayers and a sound mind.

Guide them to know how to compose themselves and watch their actions and behaviour.

Teach them to be more discerning, highlighting who they can and cannot trust.

This is essential as I learnt it the hard way.

Not because my parents didn’t teach me but because I choose not to listen.

So the next thing is to teach but also make sure they listen and internalise what you are teaching.

Gain their respect first. Walk your talk and garner that respect. Only then will your words and ‘mentorship’ be taken seriously.

More will be discuss in following blog entries and in my book.


God bless

Jacyln Chan


Article Supplied by a chick who is writing a parenting book from a daughter's perspective Publish Post

More can be read on www.damnsian.com

Sucked dry from Giving

Paying it forward is a must in my eyes.


Why?



If people don’t give then no one will receive, if no one receives then we’ll always be lacking….if everyone is lacking….then we will all go hungry ….and if we go hungry….then a seemingly detrimental future awaits us….and if our future is nothing more than detrimental….then there is no hope….without hope….we might as well not have faith….with no faith…its hard to love….as there is no trust without faith…..if there is no love….again our lives get even more detrimental….

Oh no its going bonkers here…



So all in all…

Paying-it-forward is a must.



In my gloves chapter which represents the importance of giving and receiving, I emphasise not only the importance of giving but also receiving.

As I was growing up, my parents taught me that it was a privilege to give.

It meant that I was blessed and that it was an honour to be a blessing to others. Giving became my lifeblood. I took great joy in being able to bless people with words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and even through huge hugs. However it came to a point that I felt overly stretched. I felt I reached a point that I could not give anymore. But it didn’t stop me from pulling myself together and making 100+ Valentines' Day gifts for friends, scrapbooks for boyfriends, meals for armies….but it did cause me to be exhausted - with people, myself and life. I ultimately felt empty and that my gifts weren’t appreciated anymore.

It was depressing…

I gave and gave continuously hoping to feed off the appreciation that I would get in return. Words of affirmation is my primary love language and I tried to feed off appreciation. But after a while I felt my motives of giving changed…. I was giving to feel loved…it wasn’t genieune…and I eventually wanted to ‘kick the bucket’ and just hermit my way through life.

The guys I dated didn’t appeal to my primary love language. The friends I had gave and loved me but yet I felt deserted and ‘uncool’. My parents showered me with opportunities and provided for my finances…but yet I felt empty.

Why?

Why?

Why?

I pleaded with God….until it I suddenly remembered what my father used to tell me.

My dad always mentioned that I couldn’t give what I didn’t have. That ‘lecturing’ seemed like rubbish then but it suddenly struck me that he was correct.


How could I continue to give if I didn’t have anything to give?



Wouldn’t that mean that I was just giving nothing or something fictitious and made up? Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel it was appreciated because the quality of my gifts were dissolving into nothing. Why? Guess because the source was depleted.

And the source was me…

I realised that there was a second part to the equation of giving…and it was RECEIVING.

It wasn’t that…

GIVING = GOOD

RECEIVING = BAD

It had to work hand in hand.

The two things needed to come together and had to run in sync.

Just like inhaling and exhaling. Life can only go on if we inhale and exhale. If we just inhale/exhale and not exhale/inhale we will ultimately collapse and die. Both mechanics had to work together.



The same logic goes for giving and receiving.

So going on this premise that you can’t give what you don’t have, you can’t continue to give if you ultimately run dry.

What happens then?

Well someone has to do the refilling, right?

But on top of that, someone needs to receive and accept the refill….this part is up to us.

People can give and give and invest and invest thoroughly in you but if you keep on resisting the gifts and blessings, you won’t be refilled….and once you are dry, it means that your supply is out.

You’ll be living a life that is empty even though your intentions of giving are pure.

We need to recognise that receiving is a blessing too and that if we resist the gifts that people want to give to us, we will be robbing them of the joy of giving.









So receive in humility and be gracious. Thank everyone who invests and gives to you and continue to be refilled, so that you will be better equipped to give to others.



Pay it forward but also receive in order to move forward.



That’s all for now.



God bless





Ps: to the parents reading this, I’ll be interviewing daughters and parents on who their children should receive from, when they should receive and also why and what they should receive.



I’m still learning….so please provide your inputs.



You can read more on www.damnsian.com
Article Supplied by a chick who is writing a parenting book from a daughter's perspective






Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Monday, September 1, 2008

Finding the PONY





FINDING THE PONY

I attended a Family Wellness instructor course conducted by St Andrews' Lifestreams last month and this was one of the many highlights that I took away.


The story goes like this:
Two siblings came home on Christmas eve to a pile of pony shit under the Christmas tree...

How horrible and terrible this must be....

But like in all things, everything is a perspective and based on how you want to perceive something as....

The older brother cursed, complaining about the CRAP that was under the tree. He shouted saying, "WHHHHHHHAT? I can't believe we got SHIT for Christmas! Could dad but any worst!!!!!!!!"

The younger son on the other hand, ran around the house in excitement and cheer...actively searching for something.....

What could he be possibly happy about?

What could he be searching for and why was he so optimistic?

The older brother shouted at him and asked, "What are you looking for? Aren't you pissed at dad and mom?"

The younger brother replied.... "Well if there is fresh shit under the tree....THERE MUST BE A REAL LIFE PONY!!!!!!! WHHHHOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPIEEEEEEEE! I LOVE DAD AND MOM"


Many of us tend to focus on the negative 'craps' that we encounter in our lives never taking time to see what's the blessing behind every circumstance. We take things for granted and we are quick to judge the intentions of those around us.

The moral of this story is that in every situation there is always a PONY.

Reframe your mind to choose to see the blessings behind every circumstance that occurs in your life. I know it sounds impossible....but possibilities are what we choose to make out of a give situation.


For example:

When you mom shouts at you when you are about to burn yourself while frying a meal for yourself....

She might come across as rude and condescending:

"Boy ah! Don't be an idiot! Don't touch the pan!"

But what is she really saying?

What are her intentions?

Is she actually trying to tell you to be careful cause she is concerned about your safety? Does she want to teach you to be wary of dangers that you come across? Does she care for you...and that is why she is telling you not to harm yourself?

There are many reasons....

But it may not have been communicated as such.

Communication is key but as the receiver of such bad communication, our job is to FIND THE PONY.

Try responding, by saying:

"Mom, thank you for loving me and for watching out for my safety"........


instead of snapping back at her (which I am guilty of to my mother) and saying:

"Stop shouting! Can't you see that I know that?!"


Question yourself....

Which response will establish a better relationship with your mother? Which response would allow you to probably SHOCK your mom to realise that she may be in the wrong for using such UGLY words and tone?

TRY THIS.

It is hard....I'm definitely not saying it is easy...but it is worth a try....


Hope you guys got something out of this:)